Monday, March 18, 2013

Growing Up

Years ago I came across this poem my sister wrote back in middle school.

I've always wanted to grow up, 
Get bigger, be more independent, 
Do stuff on my own.
But now I'm up,
And sometimes I wish I could grow down.
Back to the size when things didn't matter,
when I didn't have to worry,
about anything.
I wish I could go back to the time the sky was always blue, 
and the grass was always green.
Back when I could roll into a tiny ball,
cuddle tightly in my moms arms.
Or crawl into bed with mom and dad 
when my dreams didn't turn out right.
I wish I could go back to the time grades didn't matter,
and there was always recess waiting,
But that won't happen.
So I'll have to live now.
I can't go back,
But I can move forward.

I found it when I was in middle school. I thought I understood it at the time, but I didn't. I probably re-read it a few times in high school. I also probably thought I really understood it because as a high school student, I felt grown up, but I wasn't. Now that I'm a college student, I am beginning to really understand it. Sometimes growing up stinks. All your friends start getting married and going on missions. You start paying for things you never had to worry about before. You have to make the biggest decisions of your life. When I start thinking about all this I can't help but be grateful.

I'm so grateful that I have friends who are worthy to get married in the temple and are worthy to serve a mission. I am grateful that I have a job, which allows me to pay for things. And I am especially grateful that I GET to make all of my decisions and I have agency. And when I think of it this way, growing up isn't so bad. Actually it's pretty exciting and pretty great.

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